I should do WHAP but I just want to play Alfred and eat pear tart and watch Bringing Up Baby. So thats what I’m gonna do.
Hey guys!! I taught myself my first song on bass!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!! Okay, I mostly taught myself it. The chorus is giving me trouble but YES!
I’m sort of a fan of any tradition that involves cooking pears in ridiculous amounts of sugar and butter. Luckily our New Years tradition is just that.
Voyeurism (January 2, 2011)
2011 started out strong, but after returning from a trip to California my inspiration drastically declined. It was turning to film that really brought my work back to life, 120 film specifically. There was something so intimate about developing a roll on the floor of Ryan’s bedroom that I couldn’t shake.
And just like that, January ended.
January 29, 2011, self in an abandoned house
February 13, 2011
February hit hard. I got my first TLR and my T2i, but inspiration still seemed sparse. I think the semester was taking me by storm, because I barely uploaded a thing to my flickr. I know I spent a lot of time outside, on my bike and on the nature trails. I can tell that I was struggling with my art and who I was as an artist. When I see my work now it just seems so sad, I was in such a rut and that is evident in almost every upload.
But there is some evident hope, I was shooting at night a lot and that turned my monotonous campus into something bigger, something intriguing and inspiring. My nocturnal series started to develop out of no where, with no real planning, just a yearning to make something.
February 4, 2011
March came and I got my very first tattoo, with my best friend Lindsey. Ryan moved into a new apartment and I helped him into it. My uploads were rare in March as well, but they seemed more alive, hopeful. I had colors in my hair, the cold of winter was fading away. But somehow I don’t have much to show from March on my stream, it got lost somewhere. Although there is this short film.
And then there was April and I felt alive. This month is so crisp in my head, these photos are so familiar. There was warmth, I was exploring, I was taking photos again. And in April, I cut my hair off, I turned nineteen. Cutting off my hair changed a lot of things, but overall it gave me an internal makeover that I needed. I rebuilt my confidence from a place that hadn’t existed before. I challenged myself.
April 29, 2011, my birthday
May came and it was summer. I vowed to work hard on my film work, and to be more confident photographing others, and I started off dedicated, lugging my Mamiya with me wherever I would go. I asked people to model for me. I was brave and proud of it. I made some magic. I spent time with my friends, I started working out and getting healthy. I felt optimistic, confident. Just looking at these photos brings me some sort of peace.
May 31, 2011, Mitzi
June 6, 2011, Crane Wife one and two
June hit me out of no where, I continued my work with others but this is when self portrait therapy started, it was when I first coined the term and started an everlasting series. My very first spt photo makes me feel so uncomfortable (my hair looks awfully long in the back…) and it’s evident that I needed all of the comfort I could get. It’s just so honest. Almost too much. I took a trip to Louisiana and got back to my roots, I needed it more than anything.
June 10, 2011 Self Portrait Therapy
June 26, 2011 The Madonna
June bled into July and spent so much time with so many inspiring people. I visited Jacksonville, where I saw Eileen, Erica and Carson. Friends from across the nation ended up in a town nearby and alongside Shannon Bray, I met Jordan Voth and Noah Sahady. I was around art and artists and it made me ache to create. I shot a lot of 35mm film, took up sewing with Lindsey and drove everywhere, all the time. I was on the run I guess.
July 19, 2011, The Cats in Jacksonville
July 23, 2011, Eileen in Jacksonville
July 23, 2011, sewing
August 5, 2011 Karen in Jacksonville
In August I brought Karen to Jacksonville to meet Erica and Carson and we explored my favorite beach. Lots of photos were taken and the company of good friends was much needed during this time. I spent a lot of time with Shannon, she took me on adventures and I got a good glimpse into shooting others in a fun and playful way. I shot a lot in early August, with a lot of people, and there was so many memories packed into that time frame. But summer had to end and I had to return to school. Caitlin and I moved into an apartment style dorm, we had a kitchen and our own furniture and a balcony and it was awesome. I met Paige, an old friend from elementary school.I tried my best to shoot when I could, but the semester would soon take over.
August 13, 2011 Lauren
August 25, 2011 LMFAO
September 5, 2011 dreams
September brought business and more self portrait therapy. I spent some time at home, but I would soon get a job that would keep me from home for most of the rest of the semester. I took art history 1, astronomy lecture and lab, figure drawing I and psychology. In september Laura Martin contacted me and she became a muse of sorts. My work of her just makes me so proud, it was what I had been hoping to achieve throughout the whole summer. Quality work that didn’t have to be of me, it made me feel so brave, like my fear of photographing others was fading out. I also learned how to use my campus to my advantage, as a location and not just a place, as an inspiration.
September 9, 2011 Laura Martin
September 12, 2011 Paige
September 30, 2011 Laura
October was a really, really hard month. But somehow, my work was absolutely exquisite. Funny how that works. It was a month for self portrait therapy and figuring things out.
October 16, 2011 all unfurled
November 1, 2011 spt
November swept in with that same sinking feeling, but the month ended on a better note than expected. I spent a lot of time working, I hadn’t been home since October and I finally got a chance for thanksgiving, and something exquisite happened and things began to mend themselves again. I bought myself the 5d mk ii, I was visited in Jacksonville by the boy I am in love with, I started to shoot again and my work was promising, beautiful even. November seems to fade out until it reaches the 25th. Then there was hope.
November 29, 2011 Ryan
November 29, 2011 (we started to make art together again)
December 1, 2011 personal shelter
December swept in and swallowed me whole because I had promise again, there was hope. For myself, for my art, for my love, for my friendships and my job. December was a gift. I worked through the season in a portrait studio, I passed my finals with flying colors, I became Ryan’s girlfriend again, I forgave myself for the things I had done and forgave him as well. I found myself again, in the midst of all of the negativity and difficulty, I weeded myself out. And I made art, and it was beautiful, and nothing can take that from me.
December 8, 2011
And now I am dive bombing into 2012 with an open mind and a swollen heart and I have faith in myself and the things that are to come and I know the year to come will be brilliant, and worth it.
Thanks to everyone who has stuck by me through this year, and even before this year. Without those that follow my art, there would be no art at all. Every kind gesture, sweet word and delicate thought keeps my head high.
I love you all
I could be wrong but I’d say petting my cats, drinking hot chocolate and listening to Ingrid Michaelson while the sun sets is a better way to spend my evening than WHAP homework.
God I love Ingrid Michaelson so much. So much.
I got through a lot this year. I just looked through my journals for the past year. That was some serious depression I battled my way through this time last year. It’s really nice to see positive changes in myself and be able to see that I really am inching my way towards what I want to be. My parents are relatively healthy, my brother is happy, for the time being I have my grandmas still, and most days I can breathe. I have so much to be thankful for.
I think my goal for 2012 is just to keep going.
From the conflict in South Sudan, to the ongoing cholera outbreak in Haiti, to civil war in Libya, 2011 was a year marked by crisis. Thank you for following our work here on Tumblr, your reblogs raise awareness for the victims of violence, drought, epidemics and other medical humanitarian emergencies. We appreciate your support.
I can never really decide how I feel about New Years Eve. I’m pretty sure I’m not a fan of it.
Cuddling with Bahama. Can I make this into a career?
I don’t understand how I’m supposed to start writing 2012 tomorrow… I still write 2010 and say I’m 14 all the time
- some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
- me: no I read fanfiction I got this